Male Codependence

…you are not alone.

  • About Codependent Men
  • Codependence Patterns & Characteristics
  • Codependency Self Assessment
  • Links & Books

Recovery from Codependency

Posted by James Browning on March 19, 2014
Posted in: Seeing Myself Clearly, Symptoms of codependence, Unhealthy Relationship. Tagged: changing habits, codependence, recovery.

self-criticism021Codependency underlies all addictions. The core symptom of “dependency” manifests as reliance on a person, substance, or process (i.e, activity, such as gambling or sex addiction). Instead of having a healthy relationship with yourself, you make something or someone else more important. Over time, your thoughts, feelings, and actions revolve around that other person, activity, or substance, and you increasingly abandon your relationship with yourself. Abstinence or sobriety is necessary to recover from codependency. The goal is to bring your attention back to yourself, to have an internal, rather than external, “locus of control.” This means that your actions are primarily motivated by your values, needs, and feelings, not someone else’s. You learn to meet those needs in healthy ways. Perfect abstinence or sobriety isn’t necessary for progress, and it’s impossible with respect to codependency with people. You need and depend upon others and therefore give and compromise in relationships. It’s said that denial is the hallmark of addiction. This is true whether you’re an alcoholic or in love with one. Not only do codependents deny their own addiction – whether to a drug, activity, or person – they deny their feelings, and especially their needs, particularly emotional needs for nurturing and real intimacy. You may have grown up in a family where you weren’t nurtured, your opinions and feelings weren’t respected, and your emotional needs weren’t adequately met. Over time, rather than risk rejection or criticism, you learned to ignore your needs and feelings and believed that you were wrong. Some decided to become self-sufficient or find comfort in sex, food, drugs, or work. All this leads to low self-esteem. To reverse these destructive habits, you first must become aware of them. The most damaging obstacle to self-esteem is negative self-talk. Most people aren’t aware of their internal voices that push and criticize them — their “Pusher,” “Perfectionist,” and “Critic.” From an article By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT http://psychcentral.com/lib/recovery-from-codependency/00014956

When you give another person
the power to define you,
then you also give them
the power to control you.
Leslie Vernick

Share this:

  • Share
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Email
  • Print
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

Posts navigation

← Infidelity Is a Decision
No Such Thing As “Friends with Benefits” →
  • Recent Posts

    • Macho Bravado and Unadulterated BS
    • Saved For Something Better
    • Living Outside Myself
    • Dysfunctional Families
    • How To End A Romance
  • Search Site

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • Blogroll

    • Broken Hearts Anonymous
    • Good Morning Gratitude
    • Love Letter Daily
  • Archives

    • December 2016
    • November 2016
    • April 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2015
    • November 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • February 2013
    • January 2013
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • December 2011
  • Categories

    • 12 step meetings
    • Abuse
    • Accepting "what is"
    • Accurate self-view
    • Addiction
    • Aging
    • Anger
    • Anxiety
    • Appropriate Behavior
    • Asking for help
    • Boundaries
    • Caretaking
    • Change
    • Childhood
    • Choices
    • Committed relationships
    • Communication
    • Compulsion
    • Control
    • Controlling
    • Controlling Others
    • Courage
    • Denial
    • Depression
    • Destiny and fate
    • Divorce
    • Dysfunctional relationships
    • Emotions
    • Enjoyment
    • Faithfulness
    • Family of origin
    • Family problems
    • Fear
    • Feelings
    • Fighting
    • Forgiveness
    • Freedom
    • Gambling
    • Gender differences
    • Getting Better
    • Giving too much
    • Grief
    • Growth
    • Guilt
    • Happiness
    • Healing
    • Heartbreak
    • Helping others
    • Higher Power
    • Honesty
    • Imperfection
    • Infidelity
    • Intimacy
    • Jealousy
    • Judgmental
    • Learning From the Past
    • Living in "Now"
    • Loneliness
    • Love
    • Love addiction
    • Lying
    • Marriage
    • Mistakes
    • Narcissism
    • Needy
    • Not Good Enough
    • Obession
    • Old Age
    • Pain
    • Parental Abuse
    • Parenting
    • People
    • Pleasing others
    • Projection
    • Reason
    • Recovery
    • Rejection
    • relationships
    • Religion
    • Resentment
    • Respect
    • Romantic Love
    • Sad
    • Secrets
    • Seeing clearly
    • Seeing Myself Clearly
    • Self Care
    • Self Destructive
    • Self Esteem
    • Self Image
    • Selfish
    • Sex
    • Shame
    • Sorrow
    • Spaking up
    • Stress
    • Supression
    • Symptoms of codependence
    • The Future
    • The Past
    • Therapy
    • Trust
    • Truth
    • Try Again
    • Uncategorized
    • Understanding
    • Unfaithful
    • Unhealthy Relationship
    • Wants and Desires
    • Worry
  • Meta

    • Register
    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.com
Blog at WordPress.com.
  • Follow Following
    • Male Codependence
    • Join 195 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Male Codependence
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Copy shortlink
    • Report this content
    • View post in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

You must be logged in to post a comment.

    %d bloggers like this: