Male Codependence

Don’t allow perfectionism to stifle curiosity. Imperfection is a human privilege. Remember anything worth doing is worth doing badly, which encourages risk taking. Robertson Davies reminds us that since medieval times there has been a saying in Latin, “Fortune favors the bold.” Anxiety is always about prematurely anticipating the future with a great deal of dread. So many people combat the dread by being determined to be in control as much as possible. There are many examples of anxiety & control: a boss who micro manages or a parent who always knows what’s best for their kid (which cheats kids out of priceless opportunities for mistakes); the partner who has to know every detail of where their significant other is and makes so many phone calls the other partner starts turning off the cell phone because they no longer find the calls sweet but badgering. Constant hall monitoring is not loving, in truth it is about the dread inherent in anxiety and keeping a lid on with control. Control is a central part of codependency in relationships. It’s better to control your own anxiety than to control other people. When fear tugs at you to leap in the future, try using your five senses to bring you in the more soothing present. Anxiety is about feeling bad in the past or being scared of the future. Anxiety means the present is usually missing. From “Anxiety, Control & Codependency” by Rhoda Mills Sommer, L.C.S.W. http://therapyideas.net/anxiety.htm

Control is never achieved
when sought after directly.
It is the surprising
outcome of letting go.
James Arthur Ray