Male Codependence

What a wicked game to play,
to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do,
to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say,
you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do,
to make me dream of you…
Chris Isaak
What possible good can come from such persistent pain? “There’s a kneejerk bias we have that only ‘feel-good’ states are adaptive, and things that make us feel bad are pathological,” says Matthew Keller, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Colorado. “But there are actually many unpleasant states— including pain, fever, nausea, and diarrhea—that don’t feel good but are nevertheless highly adaptive.” Sure you loved her with all your heart, but your brain played a big role, too. When you’re in love, your brain… churns out dopamine, the “crave” hormone. Couple this with the warm feelings… and you have the recipe for addiction. That’s why you’re in trouble if your drug ever decides to pack her bags and leave. “Often, people will name their partner’s small, strange quirks as the things they miss most,” says Ty Tashiro, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Colorado. “But those mundane details indicate that they miss familiarity and comfort, not the specific person.” Insomnia is a major side effect of heartbreak, and it can impair your ability to view her objectively. “The less you sleep, the less control you have over your emotions,” says David Sbarra, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Arizona. By Jim Thornton http://menshealth.intoday.in/story/Survive-a-heartbreak/0/2018.html

Isn’t that the greatest tragedy?
When someone rejects us,
no matter how they abuse our love,
we hope against reason
that somehow they will come back to us.
Suzanne Elizabeth Anderson