Male Codependence

Everyone gets angry from time to time; your son will, too. How you respond to his anger will teach him about how to recognize and manage it as he grows. First, though, you must learn to deal with your own anger effectively. If you yell, scream, and throw things, your son will, too. Admit your own strong feelings, take a time-out when necessary, and focus on solving problems rather than spreading blame. You must then teach your son that anger is acceptable, but hurting people or things is not. You can help your son learn that he can feel angry without hurting himself or someone else. Accept his anger and offer him ways to cool down when he needs them. Then, when everyone is calm, sit down and explore ways to make the situation better. One option you could explore when teaching your son how to deal with anger is to create an anger wheel of choice with your son. Sometime when you are both calm, make a pie chart with suggestions for things he can do when he is angry. Options might include taking a time-out, listening to music, calling a friend, or shooting baskets in the backyard. Then, when your son is upset, he can look at the wheel of choice for ideas. Having solutions already at hand will help him calm down more quickly. Finally, learn to listen to your son’s real feelings and help him find words to express them. Your son’s body language, facial expressions, and gestures will help you know what he is feeling. Gently help him find the right words for his emotions before he reaches the boiling point. Anger is often a smoke screen for other, more difficult feelings; when your son can talk about these feelings openly with you, anger may be unnecessary. Remember, most boys fight, argue, sulk, and suffer. And most boys get up to live and fight another day. Remain calm, remember that feelings are just feelings, and do your best to find solutions to the everyday challenges life with your son presents. http://life.familyeducation.com/boys/emotions/55298.html

Train up a child
in the way he should go;
even when he is old
he will not depart from it.
C.M. Stunich