Male Codependence

Stand on any school playground and watch what happens around you. You’ll see groups of children playing, some children wandering by themselves, and occasionally, children arguing and fighting. And depending on whether those children are girls or boys, you will notice differences in how they express their anger. The boys may argue, have fistfights, or throw things at each other. The girls usually sulk, pout, or spread gossip. Anger has long been an acceptable emotion in boys and men. After all, the reasoning goes, they have lots of testosterone; they can’t help being aggressive. Indeed, anger, including fistfights or other physical confrontations, is often seen as true masculine behavior. Even in these supposedly enlightened times, someone who walks away from a fight may be called a coward. Numerous studies have shown that there is no real difference in the way men and women experience anger. All people feel anger, and most feel angry about the same things. However, men and women (and boys and girls) express their anger in different ways. Men tend to be more physically aggressive, to engage in passive-aggressive behavior more often, and to be more impulsive in expressing anger. Women stay angry longer, are more resentful, and often use relationships as weapons in expressing anger (such as excluding a former friend, starting unpleasant rumors, or insulting someone’s appearance). Some experts believe that boys are prone to anger because it is an emotional substitute for other, less acceptable emotions, such as sadness or loneliness. Parents, too, contribute to boys’ anger; research has shown that parents encourage daughters to resolve conflicts peacefully but allow boys to retaliate. Anger is a normal part of the human emotional spectrum; in fact, anger is often what motivates us to solve problems, to stand up for ourselves, and to attempt to right the wrongs of the world. Misdirected anger, however, can cause great harm. http://life.familyeducation.com/boys/emotions/55298.html

It is wise to direct
your anger towards
problems, not people,
to focus your energies
on answers, not excuses.
William Arthur Ward