Male Codependence

Years ago men seemed tougher. They ruled the roost and women were often passive and weak in their relationships. Times have changed, and they certainly needed to. But what happened to men? In my Denver psychotherapy practice, I’m seeing more and more weak men who allow their wives to trample all over them emotionally. These women are constantly bitching and whining and telling their men what they can and can’t do. And the men are accepting it. My client I’ll call George came into my Denver office deeply depressed and even suicidal. When I suggested he needed to have interests and hobbies, and that he needed more than work and marriage to have a full, happy life, he said, “My wife won’t let me have friends, go out, join a softball league, or anything else.” I said, “But you’re a CEO in a corporation, how can you let your wife control you like that?” He told me that he believes it is his duty to “be a good husband and keep her happy.” Women used to lose their identities in their relationships (and some still do of course), but now men are doing the same thing. What happened here? Did the feminist pendulum swing too far? The old-time macho man was way more insecure than we knew. The macho façade was just that – a façade covering men’s insecurities. Once women counter-intimidated them and their facades came down, men basically said, “I give! You win!” And many men are stuck here. Women grew and got stronger over the last few decades. Men didn’t. Men are afraid to deal with their emotions (of anger and frustration), so their only choices are to pretend everything’s okay, or act macho again (which is very politically incorrect these days). Neither option is healthy. By Carolyn Bushong http://www.examiner.com/article/weak-men-who-try-to-please

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.
The most certain way to succeed
is always to try just one more time.
Thomas A. Edison