Male Codependence

Sexual abuse by a brother or sister is not uncommon, with studies suggesting it is more common than parent-child incest. Some studies contend it is the most common form of child abuse. Sibling sexual abuse can have serious immediate and long-term effects on victims. Many survivors state that they feel they were in some way to blame for their abuse. This can be particularly so when they were close in age to the abusive sibling. This feeling of “being in it together”, of being a co-conspirator rather than a victim, does not acknowledge the power dynamics that existed, and further adds to feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment. Some survivors may feel responsible for the “fall out” that follows a disclosure of sibling abuse, or may feel responsible for keeping the family together. Sibling sexual abuse is a gross abuse of trust. Survivors often reveal feeling betrayed by their sibling who they feel they should have been able to love and trust. They may also feel betrayed by parents who failed to protect them. Many survivors describe their childhood as a lonely time, with their experiences of abuse leaving them feeling isolated from, and different to other children. Survivors will often reveal feelings of shame and deep embarrassment connected to being sexually assaulted by a brother or sister. Adult survivors can wrestle with especially shameful feelings if they feel they did not fight off a sibling’s sexual advances or if they sought out that affection. These feelings can be particularly strong if the age difference between the siblings is not great. Feelings of grief for the past and future relationship can be deep. For some, the realization that their relationship with a brother or sister, their closest genetic relative, is not as they wished or hoped it to be, comes with an enormous sense of sorrow. http://www.secasa.com.au/pages/sibling-sexual-abuse-information-for-adults-abused-as-children/

What distresses me at times
is that I meet a lot of people
in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s,
who still say they’re
a victim of child abuse.
Dave Pelzer