Male Codependence

Feeling ‘not good enough’ is very common. As a child, we have often been criticized by our parents… told we should, could, must, be and do better. And often this results in the extremely damaging sub-conscious belief ‘I’m not good enough, and nothing I do is ever good enough’. The result is that we feel dissatisfied with ourselves, and with everything we ever do. It is a hard existence! If you have this belief, you will find it very difficult to complete anything (because, if you complete it, it will not be good enough… at least, if it is incomplete, you have an excuse.) You may go from project to project, never be able to rest, admire your creation, say ‘I did that!’ and feel proud. Your negative belief will be projected outwards and you will feel dissatisfied with your partner, your friends. Nothing about them will be ‘good enough’ either. Your partner cries ‘you’re never satisfied!’. You feel guilty you are ‘not doing enough’. Nothing is ever enough. If you think about it, ‘I’m not good enough, and nothing I ever do is ever good enough’ is a total negation of self. The entire self has been rejected, and consigned to the scrap heap. Maybe Mum or Dad criticized something about you when you were a small child, and as a result, you have decided that you are completely worthless and shouldn’t be here. Emanating out from it, like the branches coming from a sturdy tree trunk of negation, are others, such as ‘I’m not worthy’, ‘I’m stupid’, ‘I’m ugly’, ‘no one understands me’ and so on. However the reason for these beliefs is… ‘because I’m not good enough and nothing I do is ever good enough’. Change the ‘tree trunk’ level belief and the branches above it are also relieved. By Jelila /Angela Torrington http://www.baliadvertiser.biz/articles/spiritual/2005/feeling.html

Whenever you are self-conscious
you are simply showing that you
are not conscious of the self at all.
You don’t know who you are.
Osho