Male Codependence

Vengeance is wanting to make the other person suffer as much or more than the perceived suffering you have felt because of their actions, simply because of what they did to you, and to find pleasure or amusement in their pain because of the way they wronged you. Justice means that the person pays a proper penance for the wrong they have done. They have a moral, and sometimes legal, obligation to try to make things “right” after the wrong they have done. Justice should be fair – vengeance rarely is. We have a right to seek justice – we do not have a moral right to seek revenge. Revenge does damage to you, even if you do not realize it. Justice is simply moral accounting. I realize that moral accounting is already in effect – and justice, as the universe deals it, will be served. Forgiveness means letting go of the pain inside of you, while still allowing you to seek justice served morally or legally. Life moves forward without the weight that holding on to a lost cause brings. Remember, forgiveness is not a gift you give another, but something you do inside of yourself – for yourself. When you look at it this way, forgiveness is possible in any situation, once you are ready to release the pain of the wrongdoing and move on with your life. From “Forgiveness – the Gift You Give Yourself” http://voices.yahoo.com/forgiveness-gift-give-yourself-84466.html?cat=5

Every person has a dark side.
What defines a person
with good character
is not a spotless life
of constant kindness,
smiles and even temperament.
But rather, it’s the yearning
to learn from your mistakes,
applying it, making amends for them
and choosing not to repeat them
that defines good character.
Shannon L. Alder