Male Codependence

Women still look to men for strength and guidance. However, they also now look to them for love and respect. Controlling men typically will not adapt their behavior, the loudness of their voice, their habits or the way that they talk. They do not need to compromise or change for anyone. The world around them should fit in with their needs and desires, not the other way around. Imagine a man who leaves little notes for his wife every morning on the kitchen table. Ah, don’t be the romantic and think even for a second that these are little love notes. They are actually lists of chores and errands to be accomplished while he is away at work. Does his wife like them? No. Does she complain about them? No. If you are wondering why not, join the crowd. In the beginning of their relationship, perhaps she didn’t mind the notes or realize he might be one of those creatures known as controlling men. In fact, maybe she thought he was trying to make her life easier by leaving little reminders. After a while, the lists became longer. She began to do chores he normally took care of in addition to the other tasks he had assigned. Is this over the top? Certainly. But it has taken her too long to realize this man is controlling her every move. Not only does he know where she is every day, but also, he knows what she is doing. Does she ever complain? Yes, she does, but by then, it is too late. He is already in the habit of believing he knows what is best since she has never questioned him before now. It is almost impossible to relinquish control of something or someone when you have had the control for so long. From an on-line article by Susan Keenan http://www.lifescript.com/life/relationships/marriage/controlling_men.aspx#sthash.yJArt6eB.dpuf

…New love only lasts so long,
and then you crash back
into the real people you are,
and from as high as we were,
it’s a very long fall,
and we hit the ground
with a thud.
Marya Hornbacher