Emotional abuse is elusive. Unlike physical abuse, the people doing it and receiving it may not even know it’s happening. It can be more harmful than physical abuse because it can undermine what we think about ourselves. It can cripple all we are meant to be as we allow something untrue to define us. Emotional abuse can happen between parent and child, husband and wife, among relatives and between friends. The abuser projects their words, attitudes or actions onto an unsuspecting victim usually because they themselves have not dealt with childhood wounds that are now causing them to harm others. In the following areas, ask these questions to see if you are abusing or being abused:
1. Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating, judging, criticizing:
– Does anyone make fun of you or put you down in front of others?
– Do they tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
– When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
2. Domination, control, and shame:
– Do they treat you as though you are inferior to them?
– Do they make you feel as though they are always right?
– Do they belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans
3. Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations…
– Are they unable to laugh at themselves?
– Do they have trouble apologizing?
– Do they blame you for their problems or unhappiness?
– Do they continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?
4. Emotional distancing… isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
– Do they use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?
– Do they play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
– Do they not notice or care how you feel?
5. Codependence and enmeshment:
– Does anyone treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?
– Do they not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
– Do they disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
By Maria Bogdanos http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/20/signs-of-emotional-abuse/
She will cry and get over it,
she will hate you
then love you again,
but one day she will leave
and won’t come back.
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