Male Codependence

…you are not alone.

  • About Codependent Men
  • Codependence Patterns & Characteristics
  • Codependency Self Assessment
  • Links & Books

Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Posted by James Browning on April 1, 2013
Posted in: Dysfunctional relationships, Parenting, Self Esteem. Tagged: bad childhood, dysfunctional people, emotional wounds.

parents-fightingChildren of dysfunctional families come to believe they are responsible for their parents’ problems. As a result they develop low self-esteem, believing themselves to be incompetent or undeserving of love because they have failed their troubled parents. In other words, they internalize their parents’ problems as their own. As such, they develop unrealistic expectations about what is and isn’t their responsibility, and about what they can and can’t control in relationships. Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families carry these distorted beliefs into adulthood. They feel over-responsible for everyone around them, including spouses, children, in-laws, and co-workers. They perceive the problems of others as their own – just as they did with their parents’ problems. They are riddled with anxiety, stress, and guilt in their relationships. They ignore their own needs, feelings, and problems, and, thus, become depressed and resentful. Ultimately, they feel like failures – just as in childhood – because their goal of solving everyone’s problems is unobtainable. Codependency becomes an addiction when codependents subconsciously seek out troubled individuals as a way to avoid dealing with their own problems. By compulsively trying to “fix” an alcoholic, a codependent can feel, by comparison, like a healthy person with no problems. Yet, if the alcoholic goes away, the codependent will compulsively seek out another troubled person to “fix” in order to avoid his or her own feelings of low self-esteem and inadequacy. Like any addiction, codependency stymies personal growth as the codependent uses it to avoid dealing with emotional pain just as the alcoholic uses alcohol to avoid dealing with emotional pain. Codependents are generally nice individuals who are very stressed from carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. They are perceptive of others but not at all perceptive of themselves. Therapy with codependents involves teaching self-care skills, and most importantly, convincing them they are not selfish, or in danger, for choosing to take care of themselves. http://serenityonlinetherapy.com/codependency.htm

One’s dignity may be assaulted,
vandalized and cruelly mocked,
but it can never be taken away
unless it is surrendered.
Michael J. Fox

Share this:

  • Share
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Email
  • Print
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

Posts navigation

← Loss of Self
Codependent Relationships Are Complicated →
  • Recent Posts

    • Macho Bravado and Unadulterated BS
    • Saved For Something Better
    • Living Outside Myself
    • Dysfunctional Families
    • How To End A Romance
  • Search Site

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • Blogroll

    • Broken Hearts Anonymous
    • Good Morning Gratitude
    • Love Letter Daily
  • Archives

    • December 2016
    • November 2016
    • April 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2015
    • November 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • February 2013
    • January 2013
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • December 2011
  • Categories

    • 12 step meetings
    • Abuse
    • Accepting "what is"
    • Accurate self-view
    • Addiction
    • Aging
    • Anger
    • Anxiety
    • Appropriate Behavior
    • Asking for help
    • Boundaries
    • Caretaking
    • Change
    • Childhood
    • Choices
    • Committed relationships
    • Communication
    • Compulsion
    • Control
    • Controlling
    • Controlling Others
    • Courage
    • Denial
    • Depression
    • Destiny and fate
    • Divorce
    • Dysfunctional relationships
    • Emotions
    • Enjoyment
    • Faithfulness
    • Family of origin
    • Family problems
    • Fear
    • Feelings
    • Fighting
    • Forgiveness
    • Freedom
    • Gambling
    • Gender differences
    • Getting Better
    • Giving too much
    • Grief
    • Growth
    • Guilt
    • Happiness
    • Healing
    • Heartbreak
    • Helping others
    • Higher Power
    • Honesty
    • Imperfection
    • Infidelity
    • Intimacy
    • Jealousy
    • Judgmental
    • Learning From the Past
    • Living in "Now"
    • Loneliness
    • Love
    • Love addiction
    • Lying
    • Marriage
    • Mistakes
    • Narcissism
    • Needy
    • Not Good Enough
    • Obession
    • Old Age
    • Pain
    • Parental Abuse
    • Parenting
    • People
    • Pleasing others
    • Projection
    • Reason
    • Recovery
    • Rejection
    • relationships
    • Religion
    • Resentment
    • Respect
    • Romantic Love
    • Sad
    • Secrets
    • Seeing clearly
    • Seeing Myself Clearly
    • Self Care
    • Self Destructive
    • Self Esteem
    • Self Image
    • Selfish
    • Sex
    • Shame
    • Sorrow
    • Spaking up
    • Stress
    • Supression
    • Symptoms of codependence
    • The Future
    • The Past
    • Therapy
    • Trust
    • Truth
    • Try Again
    • Uncategorized
    • Understanding
    • Unfaithful
    • Unhealthy Relationship
    • Wants and Desires
    • Worry
  • Meta

    • Register
    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.com
Blog at WordPress.com.
  • Follow Following
    • Male Codependence
    • Join 195 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Male Codependence
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Copy shortlink
    • Report this content
    • View post in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

You must be logged in to post a comment.

    %d bloggers like this: