Male Codependence

We find ourselves in a funny situation these days: We say “yes” to all the annoying schedule stretching requests, but say “no” to all the things that will help us grow as individuals. At its purist, basest form, learning to say “no” is about attaining goals. Even if a person is eternally pledged to help others, it’s still a goal. While the Internet is brimming with advice about how to become a go-getter, become a goal-oriented person, or a success story, what these lists actually do—aside from normalizing words like “achievement” to the point that even blinking is considered a monumental occasion—is glaze over what happens between creating the list of goals and hopefully, just hopefully, checking off the box next to the final item. Achievement necessitates a graceful marriage of assertiveness and fearlessness. It just so happens learning to say both yes and no at the right moment embodies these things. At its very core, though, saying no is a refusal. Indeed, “no” has begun to possess a connotation attached to it that makes its very usage seem insulting. …we’re adults, and adults are expected to take responsibility for ourselves. Besides, saying “no” puts everything to rest. We aren’t forced to make excuses… we’ll be stand-up guys and it cuts down on stress. By Gin A. Ando http://www.primermagazine.com/2012/live/the-importance-of-learning-to-say-no-the-power-of-learning-to-say-yes

A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction
is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered
to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mahatma Gandhi