Male Codependence

Codependents usually don’t want their relationships to fall apart, even though in moments of anger they may talk divorce or threaten to leave. And the most common reason they give for staying with a drinking or using partner is the simplest reason of all: Love. And in the name of love, they hang on to each shred of hope that their partner will get straight or somehow transform into a social drinker or a weekend user. In the meantime (and while waiting for a miracle that never comes), they invent excuses for their kids, for relatives and friends, for the boss or supervisor. Then, when the dependent partner turns up, remorseful and contrite, after another binge or bender, the codependent accepts the tearful apologies and believes the heartfelt promises. Again. If the partners of codependents are sick, so are codependents. On the other hand, they can both recover. But codependents can help the process along immeasurably by realizing that only they can help themselves. That’s why they need to get help. Because their problem isn’t their partner’s drinking or cocaine habit, any more. It’s their own fear, their own anger, their own anxiety, their own resentment. Gayle Rosellini http://www.doitnow.org/pages/804.html

We can easily forgive a child
who is afraid of the dark;
the real tragedy of life
is when men are
afraid of the light.
Plato