Male Codependence

If you are giving because your help is needed (in sickness or crisis) then simply accept the relationship for what it is. Your giving will add value to who you are but may not translate into a relationship with that person. And if your “generosity” has strings attached (like hoping you can subtly buy his/her affections) then it’s really not very generous. And don’t lie to yourself it’s not likely to work out. You will probably end up disappointed. One-sided relationships have a devastating effect on your self-esteem. No matter how good your self-esteem “GIVE and GIVE” relationships have their own constraints which make having productive and satisfying relationship impossible. My people have a saying: Who you are is related to how much you give of yourself without losing sight of who you are. Giving who you are to the extent that you empty yourself onto the laps of others only makes you insignificant and “invisible” in the relationship. And when there seems to be only one person in the relationship a disequilibrium in energy distribution happens and when that energy distribution exceeds certain limits, a state of instinctual emotional “distancing” begins to happen. It is best to minimize the possibility of regret by making sure that you choose people capable of “give and take” relationships. Yangki Christine Akiteng http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/NEWSLETTER%20ARTICLES/one_sided_relationships.html

I fall too fast,
crash too hard,
forgive too easily,
and care too much.
Unknown