Love Addiction can become an obsession with finding the world in one lover. A person’s own growth and development has been hindered early in life, and addicted lovers attach themselves to their lover’s identity. Often, this dependency results in their drawing unearned pride from their lover’s accomplishments. Sometimes it leads to their demanding, for themselves, undeserved recognition for their lover’s achievements. Fearful of change, addictive lovers will neglect individual development of self and find the ultimate security in believing they can become indistinguishable from their partner. Sometimes the fear of change is so great all individual development of abilities, interests, and desires is suppressed. Stagnation is a common characteristic of addictive love relationships. The desperate need for security leads to emotional scheming. Addictive lovers are inclined to think that doing things for their partner will secure their love. The resulting opportunities for disappointment and resentment are sufficient to make such scheming pointless. But addictive lovers are obsessed with impossible needs and unrealistic expectations. Love demands honesty and integrity. You are very needy when it comes to relationships.
o You fall in love very easily and too quickly.
o When you fall in love, you can’t stop fantasizing—even to do important things.
o Sometimes, for companionship you lower standards and settle for less than you deserve.
o When you are in a relationship, you tend to smother your partner.
o When attracted, you will ignore all the warning signs that this person is not good for you.
o When you are in love, you trust people who are not trustworthy.
You do not need to be loved,
not at the cost of yourself.
The single relationship that is truly central
and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self.
Of all the people you will know in a lifetime,
you are the only one you will never lose.