Male Codependence

…you are not alone.

  • About Codependent Men
  • Codependence Patterns & Characteristics
  • Codependency Self Assessment
  • Links & Books

Grow Beyond What You Are

Posted by James Browning on November 21, 2012
Posted in: Anger, Appropriate Behavior, Symptoms of codependence. Tagged: changing habits, emotional wounds, rage.

Strong feelings are almost always the excuse used by those who behave inappropriately. The abusive mother who strikes her son across the face can always excuse herself, saying “I was angry”. Actually, she was angry at her husband, but she lacks the courage to confront him so she hits her son instead. It may be true that her anger was the source of the blow, but feeling angry and striking a child are not the same thing. The response is arbitrary. Feelings cannot be changed by force of will. How we respond to feelings, however, can be changed by force of will. Any response is learned. With time, effort, and practice we can unlearn negative responses. A father who is upset from a bad day at the office may cool his anger by jogging around the block. Enablers can avoid sabotaging themselves and their families by acknowledging feelings and accurately identifying their source. They are then free to decide on an appropriate response, rather than giving way to an automatic response which may be misplaced and destructive. From “The Enabler: When Helping Harms The Ones You Love” by Angelyn Miller

Anger makes you smaller,
while forgiveness forces you
to grow beyond what you are.
Cherie Carter-Scott

Share this:

  • Share
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Email
  • Print
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

Posts navigation

← Anger is an Acid
The Two “Things” →
  • Recent Posts

    • Macho Bravado and Unadulterated BS
    • Saved For Something Better
    • Living Outside Myself
    • Dysfunctional Families
    • How To End A Romance
  • Search Site

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • Blogroll

    • Broken Hearts Anonymous
    • Good Morning Gratitude
    • Love Letter Daily
  • Archives

    • December 2016
    • November 2016
    • April 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2015
    • November 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • February 2013
    • January 2013
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • December 2011
  • Categories

    • 12 step meetings
    • Abuse
    • Accepting "what is"
    • Accurate self-view
    • Addiction
    • Aging
    • Anger
    • Anxiety
    • Appropriate Behavior
    • Asking for help
    • Boundaries
    • Caretaking
    • Change
    • Childhood
    • Choices
    • Committed relationships
    • Communication
    • Compulsion
    • Control
    • Controlling
    • Controlling Others
    • Courage
    • Denial
    • Depression
    • Destiny and fate
    • Divorce
    • Dysfunctional relationships
    • Emotions
    • Enjoyment
    • Faithfulness
    • Family of origin
    • Family problems
    • Fear
    • Feelings
    • Fighting
    • Forgiveness
    • Freedom
    • Gambling
    • Gender differences
    • Getting Better
    • Giving too much
    • Grief
    • Growth
    • Guilt
    • Happiness
    • Healing
    • Heartbreak
    • Helping others
    • Higher Power
    • Honesty
    • Imperfection
    • Infidelity
    • Intimacy
    • Jealousy
    • Judgmental
    • Learning From the Past
    • Living in "Now"
    • Loneliness
    • Love
    • Love addiction
    • Lying
    • Marriage
    • Mistakes
    • Narcissism
    • Needy
    • Not Good Enough
    • Obession
    • Old Age
    • Pain
    • Parental Abuse
    • Parenting
    • People
    • Pleasing others
    • Projection
    • Reason
    • Recovery
    • Rejection
    • relationships
    • Religion
    • Resentment
    • Respect
    • Romantic Love
    • Sad
    • Secrets
    • Seeing clearly
    • Seeing Myself Clearly
    • Self Care
    • Self Destructive
    • Self Esteem
    • Self Image
    • Selfish
    • Sex
    • Shame
    • Sorrow
    • Spaking up
    • Stress
    • Supression
    • Symptoms of codependence
    • The Future
    • The Past
    • Therapy
    • Trust
    • Truth
    • Try Again
    • Uncategorized
    • Understanding
    • Unfaithful
    • Unhealthy Relationship
    • Wants and Desires
    • Worry
  • Meta

    • Register
    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.com
Blog at WordPress.com.
  • Follow Following
    • Male Codependence
    • Join 562 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Male Codependence
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Copy shortlink
    • Report this content
    • View post in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

You must be logged in to post a comment.

    loading Cancel
    Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
    Email check failed, please try again
    Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
    %d bloggers like this: