Male Codependence

Believing that another person has the feelings we wish to avoid (while at the same time denying those very feelings in ourselves) is called projection. Have you ever known someone who claimed that a certain person disliked him, when it was apparent that it was your acquaintance who was doing the disliking? We often attribute our own feelings to others, accusing them of negative or destructive emotions we feel. A woman wants to leave her marriage, but is not able to admit these feelings to herself, may project them onto her husband. She may see infidelity written all over his face when he comes home late from the office, because this is what she would be doing if we were in his place. She may not love her husband anymore and responds by projecting her feelings of disloyalty onto him. He, on the other hand, is devastated by her accusations because he trusts and loves her. He projects his trust and love onto her in the same way that she projects her discontent and disloyalty onto him. From “The Enabler: When Helping Harms The Ones You Love” by Angelyn Miller

A victim is someone
who blames it all
on someone else.
Why give all the power
to someone else
and leave yourself powerless?
Christina Moss