A dysfunctional relationship is one where two people make an emotional “contract” and agree to meet each other’s needs in what end up being self-destructive ways: I have a lot of “emotional problems” because I basically feel very bad about myself, but I don’t like thinking about it. You have “commitment issues,” and want to have a relationship without feeling any vulnerability. We pair up, and I hit you with all my emotional needs. You can’t handle it, distance, and then have an affair. I get to play the martyr and feel morally superior, and say that you are the sole cause of all the problems in our relationship. In return, I’m emotionally cold and critical of everything you do, and you can justify sleeping with others to feel loved because I’m so mean. We each get one thing we want (feeling better about ourselves and having relationships without vulnerability) but each do this in a way that harms us. Richard Niolon, PhD www.psychpage.com
You stopped acknowledging my feelings,
so I stopped acknowledging your existence.
I ain’t a cheater,
but if you’re going to make me feel single
why shouldn’t I act upon it?
Unknown
