One obstacle to living authentically… is people having soft personal boundaries. Boundaries are limits we consciously or unconsciously put in place to take good care of ourselves. By using the term “soft-boundaries”, I refer to people feeling that they do not have a choice. When we feel we are without choice we find ourselves doing things we don’t want to or things we think we should or must do. Soft-boundaries occur when we act one way, but feel a completely different way and do it because we feel we “have to”. It can be as simple as saying you will call someone when you don’t want to, or hosting a big event because you feel it is the “right” thing to do. If you hear yourself say, “I have no choice,” that is also an indication of a loose boundary. Remember – we always have choice. Kim Illig http://www.kimillig.com/documents/Learning-to-Set-Your-Personal-Boundaries.htm
“No” is a complete sentence.
Anne Lamott
Male Codependence 
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