A codependent person, for a variety of reasons, is looking for the same thing that all of the rest of us are searching for, but from people who aren’t able to provide it. Now, the rest of us will tell ourselves, “This isn’t working,” and move on. The codependent person continues to pour resources into a bad investment. They are convinced that if they could just change this other person, if they could just stick with them, if they could fix them, then the relationship will succeed, and they will have the love they want. And what they do is they badger this other person… and they continue to pour attention into it, make demands of the other person, demands that, right from the start, they find unreasonable. And as a result, this codependent person continues to feel rejected, frazzled, depressed, and yet is utterly unaware of what they themselves are doing. From an interview of Allan Schwart by Claudine Struck http://www.sevencounties.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=35060
Trying to make someone love you is like
trying to climb uphill during an avalanche.
Valerie J. Lewis Coleman
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