Male Codependence

A man ought never to “should” on himself and he never ought to “should” on anyone else. “Should’s” are future expectations that have yet to be born. The problem with expectations about others is they are built from assumptions. When a codependent man assumes he knows what his wife or girlfriend thinks, or believes he understands how they feel, he makes a decision on how they should behave toward him. The expectation is for her to act a particular way based on some crazy idea that she”should” know what he wants or what he meant! The result is that his hints about his birthday get missed. He assumes she got the message. Resentment comes on strong when his birthday passes without the gift he expected. Or he helped clean up after dinner and took the kids out of her hair but was disappointed when she did not want to have the same romantic encounter that he was expecting! He ends up angry and resents trying to help out when she seemingly doesn’t care about his needs! Luckily there is hope if communication can be kept from breaking down. Keep it honest and keep it open! Say what you honestly mean and mean what you honestly say. adapted from an article by Corinna Craddock

It is not a lack of love,
but a lack of friendship
that makes unhappy marriages.
Friedrich Nietzsche