There’s a dance that codependent couples do, and it takes two who know the steps. If you think your wife is codependent, there’s a good chance you are, too. Often codependent men are attracted to women who are needy, demanding, jealous, or critical. Men become dependent on their wives’ approval, and then feel trapped by their manipulation, demands, or expectations. They’re unable to set boundaries and fear emotional retaliation and/or rejection, including withholding of sex. In the beginning, a man can feel powerful, helping a needy girlfriend or wife and giving her attention or gifts. Fear of rejection and abandonment are powerful motivators for codependency, usually because of early emotional abandonment by a parent. Consequently, the men never leave – physically – but withdraw to the safety of a self-made emotional prison. After a while, they feel trapped, controlled, and resentful… some look outside the marriage for validation. However, it’s not their wives that are the cause of their problem, it’s their codependency.
From an article by Psychologist Darlene Lancer
A big part of letting go
is recognizing when it is time
to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
Darren L. Johnson