For years of my adult life I was the consummate advice giver, whether requested or not. It went hand in hand with my tendency to boss around the woman in my life at the time. Why I thought I always knew what everyone else should do I will never exactly know, except that it’s a defining of characteristic of a codependent. Outwardly I also exhibited what appeared to be great self-control, but it was to a large degree a bogus projection. Control, control, control is the hallmark of men like me suffering with codependency. The behavior comes from believing controlling everyone will keep me from getting hurt. That’s a house of cards that began to fall down eventually when it began to show that I couldn’t control myself. Over time bad habits and behavior spilled out into the light of day to show me as only having been “in control of being out of control”. Like a car doing a hundred, one can only control it until the road becomes filled with curves. Crash!
You cannot control what happens to you,
but you can control your attitude toward
what happens to you, and in that,
you will be mastering change
rather than allowing it to master you.
Brian Tracy
Male Codependence 
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