A strong male codependent tendency is to meet a woman and be pulled into a relationship by physical attraction and little else. Instead of seeing all the incompatibilities as the liaison progresses, the effort becomes about trying to change her to be something other than what she is. So much time is spent trying to mold a partner that truly compatible people go right by unnoticed. Even more telling is dysfunctional people are usually strongly attracted to other people just as messed up. The results are fiery, but what is shared is almost always scorched in a blaze of immature emotional turmoil . The pattern goes on and on, each time certain the new lover is “the one”. The impossibility of a working relationship coming only later in retrospect, if seen at all. To attach a women who is emotionally healthy, a man must first be emotionally healthy him self. Then he does not have to look. A whole, well and psychologically fit woman will appear when a man is ready.
The key is to get to know people
and trust them to be who they are.
Instead, we trust people
to be who we want them to be
and when they’re not, we cry.