There have been many attempts to define codependence, but a simple one I read that stuck is “codependency is a dysfunctional relationship with the self.” When my recovery truly got started I discovered what a stranger I was to myself. Trying to mold me to what I thought others wanted caused a loss of who I was. What a waste of life! Truly one of the worst things about codependency is how much time it wastes. And to top if off, I passed codependency on to my son and have seen some of my dysfunction played out and magnified in his behavior. Even though he is a grown man now I try to help him get past some of what he learned by watching me. By admitting where I was wrong in the past, making amends and telling him why my old behavior is not healthy to emulate has produced good results and brought us closer. I am blessed that he usually listens, gets it and responds positively. In recovery from codependency I have been able to shift the relationship with myself and through example been able to help others do the same.
Nothing is more contagious than example,
and no man does any exceeding good
or exceeding ill but it spawns
new deeds of the same kind.
Francois Duc De La Rochefoucauld