Male Codependence

I have always been strong enough to carry a lot of “stress” although at times it has taken its toll. In my interaction with others I’ve been known to become quite pointedly spoken in the past; even a little mean-spirited once in a while. Within my personal life there has been a lot of progress and people close to me now see heavy stress manifest usually just as fatigue (stress can be exhausting at times!). It’s in my work as a manager where once in a while I resort to a manner akin to previous ways. I’m light years away from my old management style that on occasion might have been well described as a “hell bent” version of “my way or the highway”. Under performance of my team, failure, mistakes, dealing with tough economic times, negative feedback from superiors and such do not affect me as intensely as they one did. However, such things do get under my skin a little too much on occasion. I know such reactions are genuinely human, but my feelings are accentuated with thoughts of being“less than” and “not good enough” learned in childhood. Awareness and open admission of when I am wrong are good weapons again the old demons whose remnants still remain.

Bad things do happen;
how I respond to them defines my character
and the quality of my life.
I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness,
immobilized by the gravity of my loss,
or I can choose to rise from the pain
and treasure the most precious gift I have
– life itself.
Walter Anderson