Wanting peacefulness, happiness and contentment is not enough. One must be a good gardener of the inner self so such feelings can take root. My discovery has been that peacefulness can only be had in the measure that I am able to know it. Happiness only comes when I have laid a foundation for it. And contentment can only surface in me to the measure that I allow it. I used to think that joy, serenity and gladness would someday come as sudden and welcome arrivals. The life lesson has been that such ways of being don’t arrive because of external factors. Quite the contrary. Peacefulness, happiness and contentment are not things that ever “found me”. Instead, my mind, heart and soul had to become fertile for them to grow in. One I did the necessary “planting, fertilizing and watering” the seeds of goodness sprouted and began to thrive. My life is far from perfect, yet far more perfect than ever before.
We can never obtain peace in the outer world
until we make peace with ourselves.
Dalai Lama
Male Codependence 
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