One of the issues of my dysfunction is the uncanny ability to destroy both good and bad relationships. The majority of codependents are either a love addict or love avoidant. Both tend to grab on to a partner too quickly and then feel shattered and destroyed when the breakup comes. Such times left me empty and lost outside of a relationship. So what did I do? Start another relationship quickly or fall into the arms a ‘backup’ I had already been stringing along. Either way I’d loose myself in another romance, often those not at all healthy. My tendency was to give and give, hoping and expecting to “receive” back what I gave; multiplied. Then when it was not returned, in one way or another I destroyed the relationship by picking at it and being a malcontent. That got me out of bad relationships. Problem is I destroyed some good relationships that way.
A funny thing about codependency
is that when you are so focused only on another
they become focused only on themselves, too.