“I love you” is three words; not four! When the expression becomes “I love you, but….” it ceases to be a clear expression of my heart. When I qualify my feelings with an extra word, something other than the sentiment of my heart is being expressed. Instead love is being used as a crutch. It took time for me to learn that either “I love” or “I don’t”. There ain’t no “but” about it! An expression of love does not soften what comes after. Quite the contrary. Adding “but…” to “I love you” actually makes what I am saying suspect. If I have an issue to discuss it is best if I show how I feel by conducting myself with caring and concern. If I do my demeanor and manner will express my heart clearly while I say what is on my mind.
There ain’t no buts in real love.
No,
I love you but you need to change.
I love you but I won’t marry you.
I love you but I don’t want your kid.
I love you but my wife won’t understand.
I love you but I will smack you if you make me mad.
I love you but you just don’t understand me.
I love you but I love her, too.
I love you but I want a divorce.
I love you but let’s just live together.
I love you but it’s just for tonight.
I love you but I toss that word around.
So that I can get what I want from you.
There ain’t no buts in real love.
Nan C. Loyd
Male Codependence 
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