Until a few days ago it never fully occurred to me that my view of imperfection in others is mostly a shadow of my own imperfectness I was casting on them. Not a single human being on Earth is “perfect”. No amount of success, exercise, education, money, willpower or plastic surgery can change that. I have missed out on a lot because my focus was too much on what I saw as flaws in others, especially women. It is a symptom of a ‘love avoidant’, as I have been diagnosed, to find fault in a subject of their affection. Within such thinking I held imperfection up as a barrier to prevent a woman from even having a chance to become fully emotionally intimate with me. The realization is painful, but the knowing now means I am not nearly so prone to repeat that dysfunctional behavior. As long as I have life, there is always the chance of living it better.
When nobody around you seems to measure up,
it’s time to check your yardstick.
Bill Lemley
Male Codependence 
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