Sometimes I have trouble sorting out how I feel. In childhood my conditioning was to be very cautious about expressing my feelings because honesty would often get me in trouble. So I learned to mask what I felt and to tell others what they wanted to hear. I’m a classic example of two characteristics of codependence: 1) I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling 2) I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel. With years of recovery and the issue front of mind, old habits are still deeply ingrained. The maddening part is ‘on the spot’ I can’t at times figure out my own feelings. The lesson has been to be patient with myself. Given time what I feel always show itself.
Clowns wear a face that’s painted intentionally
on them so they appear to be happy or sad.
What kind of mask are you wearing today?