If drinking or drugs are an issue in your relationship, you may be codependent — or fast on your way to becoming one. If you’re not sure exactly where you stand, just ask yourself:
- Do you get defensive if family or friends suggest that your partner has a problem with drugs or drinking?
- Do you try to control his alcohol or drug consumption?
- Have you ever lied or made excuses to your partner’s employer about tardiness or absences?
- Do you cover up your partner’s chemical use so your children won’t know?
- Have you limited your social activities because of your partner’s drinking or drug use?
- Do you cover up when she is caught in a lie or embarrassing situation related to drugs or drinking?
- Have you ever offered your partner a “social drink” (or a toke or a hit) when he was on the wagon?
- Have you minimized the role chemical use plays in family arguments?
If you answered yes to two or more questions, you may have a problem. For your own sake (and your partner’s), contact Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous, or another support group or treatment organization. Gayle Rosellini
Codependents are reactionaries.
They overreact. They under-react.
But rarely do they act.
They react to the problems,
pains, lives, and behaviors of others.
They react to their own problems,
pains, and behaviors.