It’s not a good idea to label yourself codependent, unless you plan to do something constructive about it. Because labels don’t empower you; they reinforce the undesired effect. Codependency is, however, a label of our time. So many facets of society are codependent. It’s usually synonymous with romance, too. Codependency is so ubiquitous that first of all, it’s hard to recognize. Secondly, it’s hard to end it — the healthy way. You need to do three things to determine if a relationship you’re in is codependent: 1. Educate yourself on codependency. Learn about what codependency is, and why it’s so fatal. 2. Be honest about how you relate to others and yourself. Understanding codependency at an intellectual level doesn’t do you much good. You need to recognize your codependent behaviors so that you can choose more functional and healthier ones. 3. Be mindful of how you use the label. The whole point of using the label “codependency” is to quickly identify dysfunctional behaviors and assertively reprogram them. In other words, the whole point is so that you take care of yourself. It’s empowering to refer to the label only when you’re ready to move on from it. By Melissa Karnaze http://mindfulconstruct.com/2010/07/09/end-a-codependent-relationship-the-healthy-way/
Dysfunction:
The only consistent feature
of all of your dissatisfying relationships
is you.
Larry Kersten
