8. We may tend toward episodes of depression and/or anxiety. We try to forestall these episodes through the excitement of an emotionally unstable relationship or through addictive behaviors.
9. We are not attracted to a person who is kind, stable, reliable, and interested in us. We find “nice” people boring or unattractive.
10. We “stuff” our feelings and have lost the ability to identify or express what we feel.
11. We tend to become isolated from people and become afraid of authority figures.
12. We become approval seekers and lose our identity in the process.
13. We can’t stand it when people are angry at us. We hate criticism! We get defensive and “explain” ourselves in an attempt to show the other person how they are wrong.
14. Our world view is that of the victim. We sense and gravitate towards people whom we will allow ourselves to be victimized by.
15. We judge ourselves harshly. We use a more lenient yardstick to judge others.
16. We experience guilt when we stand up for ourselves. To avoid guilt, we give in to others.
17. We confuse love and empathy/pity and tend to think we “love” people we can pity and rescue.
18. We are reactors to life rather than creators of life.
From “Codependency: A Family Perspective” by Robin Norwood (list cont’d tomorrow)
How much easier it is
to be critical than to be correct.